Hoz Theme Boys have a penis, girls have a vagina. AHAHAHAHAHAHA! One, and in comes the two to the three and four Then I drop the beat I have in store! One, and in comes the two to the three and four Then I drop the beat I have in store! Blonde hair flowin, murder she wrotes1 Down on the farm I was haulin oats2 Hitched outta town, made my momma cry Fuck the French, gonna eat dem fries I’ll bitch slap a bitch, another bitch, yo bitch and her friend   Then chillout with my betamax3 of “Three Baby and a Mens!”4 I play Othello5 with the living, I harmonize with the dead (oooooohhhh!!!) Do da goddamn waltz in 2010 with Astaire comma Fred6 I bring the noise7, I bring the static, a billion movin asses I bring the Gore like Al8 yo, I make music for the masses!9 I’m yo ho! Yo qween ho! (Ooh yeah!) And dis my show! (Yo Ho… yo!) Yo qween ho! And I betchoo didn’t know… Celery, peanut butter, raisins: ants on a log10 Twist me like a pretzel, I’m a downward facing dog11 Sittin in my director’s chair, I call all da shots “Now you feather Susan’s Loochey,12 and you stir Annie’s Potts!”13 Kick on the 1! 2! 3! 4! And a ratatat! … Oh honey, you want more? I’ll whip you with Orion’s belt14, I’m the brightest fucking star I’m crying while I’m dunking, I’m Paula Abdul-Jabbar15 I’m clearing house wit dem giant checks16 I’m a witch with a brew: I just started to hex! I’m yo ho! Yo qween ho! (Ooh yeah!) And dis my show! (Yo Ho… yo!) Yo qween ho! Um, in case you didn’t know…   baby.  gurl.  mama’s.  runt. my first word was cunt, cunt. BABY.  GURL.  MAMA’S.  RUNT. MY FIRST WORD WAS CUNT, CUNT. BABY!  GURL!  MAMA’S!  RUNT! MY FIRST WORD WAS CUNT, CUNT! meow. Turn on da tube and what did I see? Pope rippin up my photo on live tv!17 I don’t stop and I don’t quit Oreo cookie18 with some milk from my tit Like Milli love Vanilli,19 like Courtney Love some Cox20 To all my Jews in my hood raise up yo bagels and yo lox!21 This bitch is off her leash now, cats are fuckin in the yard “Now order me a mystical pizza22 with a side of chicken paillard.”23 No comprendo señor?  Don’t get what this song’s about? This is “Hoz Theme” mother fucker… YOU figure it out. Samples: “This Is Radio Clash” by the Clash “It’s Funky Enough” by The D.O.C. “Lady Strange” by Def Leppard “Yo Ho (A Pirate’s Life for Me)” from Disney’s Pirates of the Carribean 1 reference to Murder She Wrote (1984-1996), TV's longest-running mystery series. 2 reference to Hall and Oates, the most successful duo in rock history. 3 loser to VHS in the videotape format war of the late 1970s and early 1980s. 4 reference to Three Men and a Baby, a 1987 film starring Tom Selleck, Steve Guttenberg and Ted Danson.   5 a board game introduced in 1975 with the catchphrase “A minute to learn… a lifetime to master.” 6 the most influential dancer in the history of film and television musicals. 7 reference to the song “Bring the Noise” from It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back (1988) by Public Enemy. 8 Nobel Prize winner and Vice President of the United States under Bill Clinton (1992-2000).  Also the inventor of the internet and global warming.   9 reference to the Depeche Mode album Music For the Masses (1986).   10 a popular children's snack made by spreading peanut butter on celery and placing raisins on top. 11 one of the most widely recognized yoga poses. 12 reference to Susan Lucci of All My Children, most infamous for losing 18 consecutive Daytime Emmy Awards in a row. 13 reference to Annie Potts of Designing Women and Ghostbusters. 14 reference to the belt of stars of Orion, perhaps the best known constellation. 15 dual reference to Paula Abdul (late 1980s pop singer; American Idol judge) and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar (most points in NBA history; fought Bruce Lee in 1978’s Game of Death). 16 reference to direct marketing company Publisher’s Clearing House, best known for awarding sweepstakes prizes via oversized checks. 17 reference to Sinead O’Connor who in 1992 infamously tore up a photo of Pope John Paul II on Saturday Night Live. 18 a sweet, white filling commonly referred to as 'cream' or 'creme', sandwiched between two circular chocolate cookies.  The best selling cookie of the 20th century. 19 1990 Best New Artist Grammy Award winners, they were stripped of the award when it was revealed they did not sing on their records. 20 dual reference to Courtney Love (musician and widow of Kurt Cobain) and Courteney Cox (Friends). 21 favorite brunch of da Jews. 22 a 1988 film featuring Julia Roberts. 23 chicken breast on a bed of lettuce, favorite lunch of Wendy Jo Smith’s boss.  Scientifically proven to be the gayest lunch on Earth.